Date: Fri, 08 Mar 2002 10:26:07 -0800
Subject: RE: HAB: Fwd: Funny


Oh!  Laugh out loud.

jb

-----Original Message-----
From: owner-habermas-AT-lists.village.virginia.edu
[mailto:owner-habermas-AT-lists.village.virginia.edu]On Behalf Of Thomas
McDonald
Sent: Friday, March 08, 2002 10:05 AM
To: habermas-AT-lists.village.virginia.edu
Subject: Re: HAB: Fwd: Funny

LOL < :D


> This was posted to Heidegger list, I thought Habermas list
> needed it more.
>
> So allonright or left pls cheer up!
>
> best regards
>
> ali


=====================================
French Intellectuals to be Deployed in Afghanistan To Convince Taleban
of

Non-Existence of God


The ground war in Afghanistan heated up yesterday when the Allies
revealed

plans to airdrop a platoon of crack French existentialist philosophers
into

the country to destroy the morale of Taleban zealots by proving the

non-existence of God.


Elements from the feared Jean-Paul Sartre Brigade, or 'Black Berets',
will

be parachuted into the combat zones to spread doubt, despondency and

existential anomie among the enemy. Hardened by numerous intellectual

battles fought during their long occupation of Paris's Left Bank, their


first action will be to establish a number of pavement cafes at
strategic

points near the front lines. There they will drink coffee and talk

animatedly about the absurd nature of life and man's lonely isolation
in the

universe. They will be accompanied by a number of heartbreakingly
beautiful

girlfriends who will further spread dismay by sticking their tongues in
the

philosophers' ears every five minutes and looking remote and
unattainable to

everyone else.


Their leader, Colonel Marc-Ange Belmondo, spoke yesterday of his
confidence

in the success of their mission. Sorbonne graduate Belmondo, a very
intense

and unshaven young man in a black pullover, gesticulated wildly and
said,

"The Taleban are caught in a logical fallacy of the most ridiculous.
There

is no God and I can prove it. Take your tongue out of my ear, Juliet, I
am

talking."


Marc-Ange plans to deliver an impassioned thesis on man's nauseating
freedom

of action with special reference to the work of Foucault and the films
of

Alfred Hitchcock. However, humanitarian agencies have been quick to
condemn

the operation as inhumane, pointing out that the effects of passive
smoking

from the Frenchmens' endless Gitanes could wreak a terrible toll on

civilians in the area.


Speculation was mounting last night that Britain may also contribute to
the

effort by dropping Professor Stephen Hawking into Afghanistan to
propagate

his non-deistic theory of the creation of the universe.


This is only one of several Psy-Ops operations mounted by the Allies to


undermine the unswerving religious fanaticism that fuels the Taleban's

fighting spirit. Pentagon sources have recently confirmed rumours that

America has already sent in a 200-foot-tall robot Jesus, which roams
the

Taleban front lines glowing eerily and shooting flames out of its
fingers

while saying, 'I am the way, the truth and the life, follow me or die.'




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